~ A Blog About Mindfulness and Other Musings~
Join me along this journey called life as we travel ever so gently, serenely, and mindfully.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Stepping Out of the Shadows

This morning was an exquisite one.  The kind of winter's morning that is sunny and not too cold.  Cold enough to still be declared a winter's day, but not so cold that multiple layers of clothing need be worn when meandering outdoors. 
My meanderings took me to High Park.  I felt just so happy being amongst the trees and birds, hearing the soft crunch of snow under my feet. 

I bought myself an earl grey tea with a wedge of lemon and enjoyed my warm beverage as I walked towards the frozen pond.  The sun shone brilliantly on the icy water.  Looking up at the sky, I was overcome with gratitude for the beauty of the scene before me.

My moment of pause led me to reflect on something that I've been feeling lately.  The feeling that I've been living in the shadows a bit, which is to say, that I have not fully been engaging in this beautiful life before me.  There are fears stopping me from doing what I want.  And if not fears, than my own incessant complaints and critiques about why certain things cannot be done.  These criticisms are simply masked fear.  If the fear had a face, it would look a bit like this:
So what's stopping me from getting out of the shadow of myself and fully living in the present moment?  It's a question that eludes me again and again.  Is it possible to be addicted to some form of sadness, fear, or longing for things that feel out of reach?

My desire is to step out of my own shadow and to engage in the life before me.  But how?

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