Lately, I, too, have been struggling with questions of authenticity. Who is the real me?
I reflect on the ways I conduct myself in my professional life and I find myself judging the persona of:
a woman with the right answers
a woman with high energy
a woman with confidence and
But is this my authentic self or just the mask I put on?
In my most private moments, I know the self that I am far more comfortable with is the quiet self, the serenity snail if you will.
But I fear that self is de-valued in our fast-paced lives and in our quick interactions with others.
How do I, then, learn to integrate both selves instead of judging one or the other?
Does the answer simply lie in being present to my experiences at work, at home, and in the privacy of my own inner world? If I am present and mindful, then there is no room for the false ego, the Pinocchio of myself rearing its ugly head. So much easier said than done!
(This image was taken in Florence, Italy)
I know my mask is glued firmly in place when I feel threatened, insecure or as though I have to prove myself. Indeed, that is exactly how I feel in my new position at work right now.
If I could simply let go of my fears, and relax into myself, perhaps I would not feel such inner duality?
Unlike Narcissus, I want to fall in love with my authentic self, not my shadow. To actually experience self-love that is true without the narcissism -- now that would be Divine.
(Taken at Boldt Castle)